i know, i know. i should've called this blog "SYLVIA WHINES EVERYONE IN UNIVERSE IS PREGNANT AND HAS BABIES EXCEPT HER AND HERE SHE WILL MOAN ABOUT THIS UNTIL THE END OF TIME."
i AM happy for the pregnant people and for the pregnant mothers and fathers and you know i love this woman and so on but OMFG [cue uncontrollable jealous weeping, at least in my head if not from my actual eyes]:
that's it. i'm going to a sperm bank when i'm next living in a city that has sperm banks. a few months from now, most likely. [i wonder: do sperm banks have a drive up teller with the pneumatic tube-deals like a regular money bank? if they see a dog in your backseat, do they casually toss a milkbone in the canister with your vial of semen before they send it hissing through the chute? i shudder to think of people making "deposits" at the drive-up teller ...] i can't take it anymore. my ovaries ARE SCREAMING AND CURSING ME every month and my attempts to placate them with chocolate, cigarettes, coffee, occasionally booze and yoga ARE NOT WORKING. changing my friends' babies' dirty diapers and getting snot on my clothes and applesauce in my hair only makes me want a baby MORE, not less ...
[50 papers down, 100 to go ... damn the oscars tonight! at least i can grade during commercials and the crappy awards.]
5 comments:
Oh, honey.
Well, I'm glad to know that dealing with my snotty, cranky, peanut-butter hair, wet-pants kids has not completely turned you off of any maternal inklings. 'Cause sometimes it does that to me...
You're going to be the best mama one day.
no, i love your kids sooooo much. :) even when i found snot on my (admittedly glam, lol) sweatpants later that afternoon, it made me smile. maybe i need to be a step-mom?
Hey, Sylvia! The thing that gets me about this photo... Look at Angelina's arms. They're so thin! And still she's reportedly pregnant with twins. How can that be?
it's because she's an alien.
lol! she IS an alien, that explains it totally. you're right anne ... she's unhealthy-skinny for pregnant, esp with twins (you're eating for THREE now, ms. pitt)! mrah. somebody take that woman to an olive garden, stat.
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