dear stomach, small intestine, and colon:
OK, i "get it." i should not have left that half of vegetarian sandwich (which i added turkey to) in the warm/hot car for four hours friday night before i refrigerated it. i should then not have proceeded to eat this half-sandwich for a late lunch saturday. i know, the avocado was brown and the other fixings didn't look their best anymore, but it tasted FINE, OK?
well, "my bad." you really let me have it all day yesterday, didn't you? starting at around 5 a.m. with the severe cramping, and then the NEVERENDING diarrhea, and then the violent projectile vomiting? yes, thanks, i learned my lesson. i didn't get to grade hardly anything between all the running to the bathroom and the near-fainting, the horrible sweating and multiple naps i had to take because i couldn't hardly stand up. at least i didn't have a headache!
and you almost fooled me! you crazy intestinal tract, you! lol. yes, when i was finally able to keep down gatorade and coffee and some food around 5 p.m. yesterday, i honestly thought WE WERE ALL DONE with this ugly chapter. sure, the food was sitting like a rock in my stomach but so what? IT WAS STAYING PUT.
and now. monday morning. in 35 minutes i have to go have office hours and start all the grading i should've gotten done yesterday. but YOU'RE NOT DONE YET??? WTF, colon? i'm keeping my coffee down, but this stuff going on down in your nether-region?? please CUT THIS SHIT OUT, jesus. i really don't have time to run to the toilet this much. and while i appreciate it you're maybe helping me lose a pound or two (or five, christ), this is just UNACCEPTABLE.
so, again, i just wanted to make sure you knew that i did learn my lesson about proper food temperature/storage, but also that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH already. i really don't want to be too graphic here, but crapping water for more than 24 hours is PLENTY.
please cease and desist this whole "food poisoning" production effective immediately.
yours sincerely,
:) sylvia
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
anti-climax
so last night i taught my last class of the year, my last class at this university. i ordered pizzas for the students who showed up and we listened to (again) lots of persuasive speeches on such wildly varying topics as "why you should wash your hands more often" (totally freaked us all out and [shudder] behind her on a screen was a slideshow of images that included, among other things, a freeze-frame of a sneeze, and weird black-light-esque pics of hands covered in bacteria), "why the blue laws should be abolished," and "why the BCS should switch to a playoffs system." i didn't tell them it was my last class at this school. this was a nice class, but not a very sentimental one on the whole.
what's odd is that i wasn't sad or even giddy or even ANYTHING. i suppose a psychologist might say i had kind of a "flat affect" about the whole last week, the whole last class. i mean, i did have emotion (i smiled, nodded during the speeches, etc) ... but i just didn't seem to care. which is sad in itself. maybe it's the stress right now. too many other things to think about?
well. there are those few other things. like finding a storage unit, come to think about, if this is still even possible at this late date ... in fact, i better go, get to this now ...
[see?? see how it's like i can't even be nostalgic? SO ODD for me. i'm also a bit sick of all of them, the students, to be honest. not that i don't love them. i do. but their emails! my GOD. their emails make me insane with their stupid questions i've answered and addressed 7,000 times already in class and if i get one more email asking about how to do this last assignment or where the speech lab is, i might snap.]
in a totally unrelated jump ...
this is a riot: scientists say menstrual blood can repair hearts. this is SUCH GREAT NEWS. to think of all of the precious heart-repairing blood though, that i waste each month. (and in my case, it's too bad it does nothing for the figuratively damaged/broken heart ...) how hilarious would it be if women [cough. me?] started saving their own menstrual blood in their freezers for the possibility it might be useful in the future??? THINK OF WHAT THIS FREEZER WOULD LOOK LIKE, AND IF SOME GUEST WAS OVER AND WENT TO GET AN ICE CUBE FOR A COCKTAIL. what if this guest was a guy you were on a date with????? i love it. the guy's freezer from hell.
what's odd is that i wasn't sad or even giddy or even ANYTHING. i suppose a psychologist might say i had kind of a "flat affect" about the whole last week, the whole last class. i mean, i did have emotion (i smiled, nodded during the speeches, etc) ... but i just didn't seem to care. which is sad in itself. maybe it's the stress right now. too many other things to think about?
well. there are those few other things. like finding a storage unit, come to think about, if this is still even possible at this late date ... in fact, i better go, get to this now ...
[see?? see how it's like i can't even be nostalgic? SO ODD for me. i'm also a bit sick of all of them, the students, to be honest. not that i don't love them. i do. but their emails! my GOD. their emails make me insane with their stupid questions i've answered and addressed 7,000 times already in class and if i get one more email asking about how to do this last assignment or where the speech lab is, i might snap.]
in a totally unrelated jump ...
this is a riot: scientists say menstrual blood can repair hearts. this is SUCH GREAT NEWS. to think of all of the precious heart-repairing blood though, that i waste each month. (and in my case, it's too bad it does nothing for the figuratively damaged/broken heart ...) how hilarious would it be if women [cough. me?] started saving their own menstrual blood in their freezers for the possibility it might be useful in the future??? THINK OF WHAT THIS FREEZER WOULD LOOK LIKE, AND IF SOME GUEST WAS OVER AND WENT TO GET AN ICE CUBE FOR A COCKTAIL. what if this guest was a guy you were on a date with????? i love it. the guy's freezer from hell.
Monday, April 21, 2008
To Do List
1. finish grading and hand back 1.3 million papers (because this is last week i see my students. next week is finals and there are no classes--my students don't have a final with me).
2. write the final version of this stupid curriculum stuff i said i would do (and am doing with a colleague; a colleague who, btw, has canceled all her classes this week ...) for the department. for a stipend. half of which, due to some asinine tax law, gets lost before it gets to my paycheck. this needs to be done by wednesday or so. lol.
3. continue to watch, and then grade, the 150 student speeches that started last week and go through this week. and we had so many disasters, sick people, etc. that were scheduled to go last week but then had to push back to this, the LAST POSSIBLE WEEK TO DELIVER YOUR SPEECH, that each class is going to TAKE FOREVER. (i joke with them, "i can sit here all night watching you give speeches. you guys know i have no life." which is [cough] true. but it doesn't mean i'm not insanely busy. i don't tell them that part.)
4. then, in less than two weeks, review and submit final grades for my 150 students. my stomach knots just thinking about this.
5. find a mini-storage unit in my town for my belongings. i decided not to take anything except clothes and pets up north for summer because even though GOD KNOWS I WILL NEVER LIVE IN THIS PART OF THE STATE (this little town devoid of all art and culture) AGAIN, there's no point in dragging it up north, and then dragging it back again to whatever respective warm teaching position i find. (i'm looking for something on the ocean without 9 months of winter each year. minnesota loses in both these vital categories).
6. speaking of which, and this really should be #1 on list: FIND A GODDAMN JOB FOR THE FALL. no, i haven't heard anything back (anything good anyway) from anywhere. no, i don't know what i'm doing. no, i don't even have any good "leads" at the moment. SIGH. please don't ask me about this. i'll let you know if i hear anything, i promise. i'm applying and searching for things all time. i get my hopes up ALL THE TIME. for nothing, apparently. it gets increasingly depressing.
7. pack up entire house. hahahahaha. i'm only living here for less than three weeks now. have i started packing things? do i even have A BOX??? are you kidding me?? i did, i should add here, buy packing tape at the grocery store last night. this is a start. maybe i'm in denial. maybe i'm stressed and busy beyond measure. maybe i ... just need to get some freaking boxes.
8. find a sub-leaser. so i don't have to pay june and july rent. because i'm breaking my lease. fuck.
9. [insert here all the million other things, such as getting dogs and cats their flea treatments, taking care of parking tickets, taking care of terminating HR stuff, having meetings and more meetings, figuring out the morass of healthcare "this is not a bill" bills piling up from my two freaking neurologist visits, changing addresses, seeing about getting prescription pills for summer, seeing my dear friends before i leave this state ... sigh.]
10. oh yeah: find a job in minnesota for the summer. i really don't want to be a temp again. i'd rather waitress full-time or eat broken glass shards than be a temporary secretary 40 hours a week, because that might really put me over the edge. (i think i'm standing there right now anyway, peering over and debating).
so, i'm not going to be posting for awhile. my cousin bridget sent me this hilarious video yesterday (below) and if you either a) know any engineers, and/or b) know any cats, you will laugh your ass off. now i'm going to go have a small nervous breakdown and then get started on my list.
an engineer's guide to cats
2. write the final version of this stupid curriculum stuff i said i would do (and am doing with a colleague; a colleague who, btw, has canceled all her classes this week ...) for the department. for a stipend. half of which, due to some asinine tax law, gets lost before it gets to my paycheck. this needs to be done by wednesday or so. lol.
3. continue to watch, and then grade, the 150 student speeches that started last week and go through this week. and we had so many disasters, sick people, etc. that were scheduled to go last week but then had to push back to this, the LAST POSSIBLE WEEK TO DELIVER YOUR SPEECH, that each class is going to TAKE FOREVER. (i joke with them, "i can sit here all night watching you give speeches. you guys know i have no life." which is [cough] true. but it doesn't mean i'm not insanely busy. i don't tell them that part.)
4. then, in less than two weeks, review and submit final grades for my 150 students. my stomach knots just thinking about this.
5. find a mini-storage unit in my town for my belongings. i decided not to take anything except clothes and pets up north for summer because even though GOD KNOWS I WILL NEVER LIVE IN THIS PART OF THE STATE (this little town devoid of all art and culture) AGAIN, there's no point in dragging it up north, and then dragging it back again to whatever respective warm teaching position i find. (i'm looking for something on the ocean without 9 months of winter each year. minnesota loses in both these vital categories).
6. speaking of which, and this really should be #1 on list: FIND A GODDAMN JOB FOR THE FALL. no, i haven't heard anything back (anything good anyway) from anywhere. no, i don't know what i'm doing. no, i don't even have any good "leads" at the moment. SIGH. please don't ask me about this. i'll let you know if i hear anything, i promise. i'm applying and searching for things all time. i get my hopes up ALL THE TIME. for nothing, apparently. it gets increasingly depressing.
7. pack up entire house. hahahahaha. i'm only living here for less than three weeks now. have i started packing things? do i even have A BOX??? are you kidding me?? i did, i should add here, buy packing tape at the grocery store last night. this is a start. maybe i'm in denial. maybe i'm stressed and busy beyond measure. maybe i ... just need to get some freaking boxes.
8. find a sub-leaser. so i don't have to pay june and july rent. because i'm breaking my lease. fuck.
9. [insert here all the million other things, such as getting dogs and cats their flea treatments, taking care of parking tickets, taking care of terminating HR stuff, having meetings and more meetings, figuring out the morass of healthcare "this is not a bill" bills piling up from my two freaking neurologist visits, changing addresses, seeing about getting prescription pills for summer, seeing my dear friends before i leave this state ... sigh.]
10. oh yeah: find a job in minnesota for the summer. i really don't want to be a temp again. i'd rather waitress full-time or eat broken glass shards than be a temporary secretary 40 hours a week, because that might really put me over the edge. (i think i'm standing there right now anyway, peering over and debating).
so, i'm not going to be posting for awhile. my cousin bridget sent me this hilarious video yesterday (below) and if you either a) know any engineers, and/or b) know any cats, you will laugh your ass off. now i'm going to go have a small nervous breakdown and then get started on my list.
an engineer's guide to cats
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
my ovaries cry themselves to sleep
"Delaying pregnancy can carry consequences." not a news flash BY ANY MEANS, SO THANKS FOR REMINDING ME, CNN, FOR THE GAZILLIONTH TIME, that for whatever unholy reason (am i one of obama's "bitter" ones? maybe. but i don't cling to guns or religion. i don't feel bitter about MOST things) i am unable to find a mate willing to procreate with me.
like I WANT TO FREAKING DELAY A PREGNANCY, cnn. shit. i am five minutes away from robbing a sperm bank at butter-knife-point. in case you don't believe me, see my pathetic litany of posts on this subject here, here, here, here and here for christ's sake. (SIGH) ... I HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THE "CONSEQUENCES" of waiting too long since i was 20 and was just trying to be nice and responsible and possibly be married (stupid in retrospect -- i totally should've just lied to someone and said i was on The Pill. hindsight!)]
also, there is this DIRE WARNING from the movie idiocracy about WAITING TOO LONG to get pregnant (watch clip below here!). the movie itself was so-so, but the premise was hilarious: due to the over-procreation of dumb people, the world evolves into a super-idiocracy in the future (where people just watch stupid gross-out reality TV and springer-esque talkshows, masturbating all day long; their crops have all failed because they forgot how agriculture works [they were watering them with a powerade-type drink, lol]).
well, at least i have some cool, smart friends and family doing their part. i would love to be a foster parent or adopt, without a doubt! and i heard that women who (miraculously) do manage to conceive an older ages have longer life expectancies, so that's good ... i'm trying to be positive here, see? see me trying to be positive???
like I WANT TO FREAKING DELAY A PREGNANCY, cnn. shit. i am five minutes away from robbing a sperm bank at butter-knife-point. in case you don't believe me, see my pathetic litany of posts on this subject here, here, here, here and here for christ's sake. (SIGH) ... I HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THE "CONSEQUENCES" of waiting too long since i was 20 and was just trying to be nice and responsible and possibly be married (stupid in retrospect -- i totally should've just lied to someone and said i was on The Pill. hindsight!)]
also, there is this DIRE WARNING from the movie idiocracy about WAITING TOO LONG to get pregnant (watch clip below here!). the movie itself was so-so, but the premise was hilarious: due to the over-procreation of dumb people, the world evolves into a super-idiocracy in the future (where people just watch stupid gross-out reality TV and springer-esque talkshows, masturbating all day long; their crops have all failed because they forgot how agriculture works [they were watering them with a powerade-type drink, lol]).
well, at least i have some cool, smart friends and family doing their part. i would love to be a foster parent or adopt, without a doubt! and i heard that women who (miraculously) do manage to conceive an older ages have longer life expectancies, so that's good ... i'm trying to be positive here, see? see me trying to be positive???
Sunday, April 13, 2008
"when i am rich ..."
"when i am rich" ... well, this is a stupid thought. but it's entertaining, isn't it? it involves many "I WILL CERTAINLY NOT"s and "i'll definitely"s. [one of of the "I WILL CERTAINLY NOT"s includes getting a full-time nanny. another one is getting an SUV, and yet another is stopping buying the majority of my clothes and/or furniture from thrift stores and garage sales. oh, i have a long list of how i will be a tasteful, down-to-earth, bohemian rich person, lol. pottery barn and the like can go screw themselves. (if i see one more robin's-egg-and-brown combo i may projectile vomit).]
topping off the incredibly LONG LIST of "i'll definitely"s (in close proximity to making giant financial contributions to ALL my favorite global and local causes, AND paying someone to hold my ashtray on his head, duh) is BUYING COOL ART I FALL IN LOVE WITH AT FIRST SIGHT. oh, how.
mmm ... i hadn't been to one of my FAVORITE design sites, swissmiss, in awhile, but it has tons of awesome stuff up on it at the moment, including this artwork (below) that SUNG TO ME FOR NO APPARENT REASON. or well, for lots of very apparent (hello? i live in crazyville. bienvenidos a mi pueblo) reasons. this is the link to the artist's site, miraruido -- LOVE love love it all.
topping off the incredibly LONG LIST of "i'll definitely"s (in close proximity to making giant financial contributions to ALL my favorite global and local causes, AND paying someone to hold my ashtray on his head, duh) is BUYING COOL ART I FALL IN LOVE WITH AT FIRST SIGHT. oh, how.
mmm ... i hadn't been to one of my FAVORITE design sites, swissmiss, in awhile, but it has tons of awesome stuff up on it at the moment, including this artwork (below) that SUNG TO ME FOR NO APPARENT REASON. or well, for lots of very apparent (hello? i live in crazyville. bienvenidos a mi pueblo) reasons. this is the link to the artist's site, miraruido -- LOVE love love it all.
Friday, April 11, 2008
for the record ...
... i'm not an atheist. but i got this link from a friend and it's still pretty damn funny:
"Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast"
"Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast"
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
random racism?
so this just happened a few seconds ago:
[on door: KNOCK KNOCK. cue hyper dogs. fortunately one was eating in the crate and the other one (after three weeks of a barking collar, praise jesus) is much, much quieter.]
[i open door and hold back hyper/quiet dog, and see a skinny, late-20s dude with short red hair, acne, a lame goatee, khakis, and a zip-up fleece over a nice dress shirt. his white mini-van is parked up on the street. he's holding some kind of card in his hand.]
me: hello?
ginger boy [insert polite southern twang here]: hey, i'm sorry to bother you ... uh, is laqueesha here?
me: laqueesha?
ginger: yeah, does she live here?
me: no, she doesn't. sorry. [i'm struggling with dog now. he's going progressively berserk-er.]
ginger [glances at neighbor's door, connected to my house]: does she by any chance live there?
me: no, there's no one by that name living in this house. i'm sorry, i don't know her. [dog claws dig into my foot. in my head i blame ginger dude.]
ginger: ok, so no colored woman lives here?
me: . . .
[pause. did he really just say that? i look at him again. no. he's not 100 years old. WTF??]
me: uh. no.
ginger: all right then, sorry to have bothered you! thanks! bye now!
me: bye.
i would really like to editorialize here but it's all too recent ... there is SO much to do with this, i just don't know where to fucking start, my good god. i think i'll just leave it alone, let you faithful four commenters have fun ... [it's actually pretty sad.]
[on door: KNOCK KNOCK. cue hyper dogs. fortunately one was eating in the crate and the other one (after three weeks of a barking collar, praise jesus) is much, much quieter.]
[i open door and hold back hyper/quiet dog, and see a skinny, late-20s dude with short red hair, acne, a lame goatee, khakis, and a zip-up fleece over a nice dress shirt. his white mini-van is parked up on the street. he's holding some kind of card in his hand.]
me: hello?
ginger boy [insert polite southern twang here]: hey, i'm sorry to bother you ... uh, is laqueesha here?
me: laqueesha?
ginger: yeah, does she live here?
me: no, she doesn't. sorry. [i'm struggling with dog now. he's going progressively berserk-er.]
ginger [glances at neighbor's door, connected to my house]: does she by any chance live there?
me: no, there's no one by that name living in this house. i'm sorry, i don't know her. [dog claws dig into my foot. in my head i blame ginger dude.]
ginger: ok, so no colored woman lives here?
me: . . .
[pause. did he really just say that? i look at him again. no. he's not 100 years old. WTF??]
me: uh. no.
ginger: all right then, sorry to have bothered you! thanks! bye now!
me: bye.
i would really like to editorialize here but it's all too recent ... there is SO much to do with this, i just don't know where to fucking start, my good god. i think i'll just leave it alone, let you faithful four commenters have fun ... [it's actually pretty sad.]
Monday, April 7, 2008
OMG, mcsweeney's you DID NOT!
I LOVE IT!!
OTHER DANGEROUS EVENTS HILLARY CLINTON EXPERIENCED AS FIRST LADY
you know i love mcsweeney's to death. sometimes it's milk-out-your-nose hilarious and some days the entries are so-so or just not funny.
but with all the drama over hillary's giant bold-faced lie concerning her visit to tuzla, bosnia (i.e., she says she was under sniper fire and had to "run to [her] cars" when really she just walked out of the plane smiling with chelsea and hugging people like every other visit), i'm pretty surprised mcsweeney's would publish a politically-charged piece ... such an ANTI-HILLARY (ergo, PRO-OBAMA, [since god knows they can't be republican] PIECE).
love it. check it out. (the mental picture i have of her under sniper fire while noticing socks missed the litter box is priceless).
OTHER DANGEROUS EVENTS HILLARY CLINTON EXPERIENCED AS FIRST LADY
you know i love mcsweeney's to death. sometimes it's milk-out-your-nose hilarious and some days the entries are so-so or just not funny.
but with all the drama over hillary's giant bold-faced lie concerning her visit to tuzla, bosnia (i.e., she says she was under sniper fire and had to "run to [her] cars" when really she just walked out of the plane smiling with chelsea and hugging people like every other visit), i'm pretty surprised mcsweeney's would publish a politically-charged piece ... such an ANTI-HILLARY (ergo, PRO-OBAMA, [since god knows they can't be republican] PIECE).
love it. check it out. (the mental picture i have of her under sniper fire while noticing socks missed the litter box is priceless).
surprised much?
according to this yahoo article, a study of 781 adolescents (15-18) done by the university of minnesota's school of public health found that teenagers who have their own TV in their bedrooms generally watch more TV on average than do other teens (who would've ever thought?), exercise less, eat crappier food, eat fewer meals with their families, and have lower GPAs on average.
two interesting things to note here in the findings:
1. no correlation with obesity and personal bedroom TVs
2. TVs in teen bedrooms show up more frequently in lower-income homes, and decrease in frequency as income levels go up
hmm ... those of you who know me know my thoughts about TV, and i could write a book about TV. TV isn't bad in itself. it's really not. some shows are wonderful -- educational, enlightening, hysterically funny [hello, the daily show, the office and 30 rock and there are certainly others but i haven't seen them ...] and some shows are just A REALLY GREAT FUCKING ESCAPE FROM REALITY WHEN THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING.
so, i don't hate on people who watch TV. i like TV a lot sometimes. kids can learn great things from PUBLIC TELEVISION and other neat movies and shows (in moderation). when you're a busy parent, TV can be a godsend. (when i was a nanny we watched aladdin [pieces of it] almost every single day. so they would nap, praise the lord. that's just how THOSE KIDS rolled ...)
we had sola una TV in my house in the living room growing up, and we could only watch one hour a day. seriously. this lasted until ... my parents stopped caring (oh, high school?), and by then it didn't matter because i didn't care much for TV anyway.
and something stuck, people. maybe i'm a case study? because now i'm an adult and i don't have a TV, haven't for years, and don't miss it in general. i don't take comfort in the background noise of a TV the way a lot of people do (actually, i kind of hate TV noise). i can't study around a TV on, or work when one is on. (because duh, when we watched TV when i was growing up, WE WATCHED IT, lol. since we only had an hour a day WE PAID ATTENTION when it was on).
the last couple weeks i was at a young colleague's house to have work meetings about curriculum we're designing. we met at her kitchen table, right by her living room ... and right by her giant TV. ok. except she left her TV on when we got started. and i was facing it. holy christ i was IN A STATE. i mean, the SOUND WAS ON AND UP and everything.
i couldn't stop looking at it. it dawned on me there was something wrong with me if i couldn't do both these things at once. finally after i made one too many comments on the home improvement show (make your own duvet for less by buying a cheap sewing machine and two bedsheets?? WTF??? JUST BUY A DUVET, OK?), i think said colleague got my hint i couldn't multi-task and finally turned it off. thank god. and the next week it happened again, except it was her BF playing really loud video games. holy shit. i'm not kidding. she lives with that, i realize. how can people work around that??? something must be wrong with me.
[sigh.] the teenagers. i'd like to think those with TVs in their bedrooms are developing some super-hero powers of multi-tasking ability i somehow missed, but alas: SURVEY SAYS NO. they're just NOT.
but somehow i suspect the lower-income parents who put the damn TVs in their kids' rooms in the first place might not be worried if their kids are drinking mountain dew for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and aren't worried if junior's GPA gets him into college or not. these families might be too busy with other things ... if they do sit together for dinner, it's probably around another TV in the house, anyway ...
i think it matters because teenagers (bless them) know everything (clearly. if you know one this is old news: they KNOW EVERYTHING), and yet they are still children and like children they need, more than ever, to know that someone is LISTENING to them and someone values their thoughts and opinions. i think teenagers need quality time with a parent just as much as a child does, and (in my humble opinion, as usual i'm full of ideas here) a TV DOES NOT LISTEN AND DOES NOT HUG AND KISS THEM AND SAY "WOW, YOUR DAY SUCKED. TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT WHILE WE WALK THE DOG. YOU GO GRAB THE LEASH AND I'LL CHANGE MY SHOES."
two interesting things to note here in the findings:
1. no correlation with obesity and personal bedroom TVs
2. TVs in teen bedrooms show up more frequently in lower-income homes, and decrease in frequency as income levels go up
hmm ... those of you who know me know my thoughts about TV, and i could write a book about TV. TV isn't bad in itself. it's really not. some shows are wonderful -- educational, enlightening, hysterically funny [hello, the daily show, the office and 30 rock and there are certainly others but i haven't seen them ...] and some shows are just A REALLY GREAT FUCKING ESCAPE FROM REALITY WHEN THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING.
so, i don't hate on people who watch TV. i like TV a lot sometimes. kids can learn great things from PUBLIC TELEVISION and other neat movies and shows (in moderation). when you're a busy parent, TV can be a godsend. (when i was a nanny we watched aladdin [pieces of it] almost every single day. so they would nap, praise the lord. that's just how THOSE KIDS rolled ...)
we had sola una TV in my house in the living room growing up, and we could only watch one hour a day. seriously. this lasted until ... my parents stopped caring (oh, high school?), and by then it didn't matter because i didn't care much for TV anyway.
and something stuck, people. maybe i'm a case study? because now i'm an adult and i don't have a TV, haven't for years, and don't miss it in general. i don't take comfort in the background noise of a TV the way a lot of people do (actually, i kind of hate TV noise). i can't study around a TV on, or work when one is on. (because duh, when we watched TV when i was growing up, WE WATCHED IT, lol. since we only had an hour a day WE PAID ATTENTION when it was on).
the last couple weeks i was at a young colleague's house to have work meetings about curriculum we're designing. we met at her kitchen table, right by her living room ... and right by her giant TV. ok. except she left her TV on when we got started. and i was facing it. holy christ i was IN A STATE. i mean, the SOUND WAS ON AND UP and everything.
i couldn't stop looking at it. it dawned on me there was something wrong with me if i couldn't do both these things at once. finally after i made one too many comments on the home improvement show (make your own duvet for less by buying a cheap sewing machine and two bedsheets?? WTF??? JUST BUY A DUVET, OK?), i think said colleague got my hint i couldn't multi-task and finally turned it off. thank god. and the next week it happened again, except it was her BF playing really loud video games. holy shit. i'm not kidding. she lives with that, i realize. how can people work around that??? something must be wrong with me.[sigh.] the teenagers. i'd like to think those with TVs in their bedrooms are developing some super-hero powers of multi-tasking ability i somehow missed, but alas: SURVEY SAYS NO. they're just NOT.
but somehow i suspect the lower-income parents who put the damn TVs in their kids' rooms in the first place might not be worried if their kids are drinking mountain dew for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and aren't worried if junior's GPA gets him into college or not. these families might be too busy with other things ... if they do sit together for dinner, it's probably around another TV in the house, anyway ...
i think it matters because teenagers (bless them) know everything (clearly. if you know one this is old news: they KNOW EVERYTHING), and yet they are still children and like children they need, more than ever, to know that someone is LISTENING to them and someone values their thoughts and opinions. i think teenagers need quality time with a parent just as much as a child does, and (in my humble opinion, as usual i'm full of ideas here) a TV DOES NOT LISTEN AND DOES NOT HUG AND KISS THEM AND SAY "WOW, YOUR DAY SUCKED. TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT WHILE WE WALK THE DOG. YOU GO GRAB THE LEASH AND I'LL CHANGE MY SHOES."
Friday, April 4, 2008
LOL!
i'm sitting here alone at 7:30-something a.m., literally Laughing Out Loud (not really that unusual ...) at myself, or, well ... the big white envelope sitting here next to the laptop. [now i'm really laughing. :)] because the big white A4-sized (leftover from four years ago in europe; glue was pointless so it's uh, taped closed) envelope is addressed to none other than
GEORGE CLOONEY.
no shit! LMAO!
[i guess i never mentioned my GINORMOUS crush on this man, did i??? damn you sarah larson!!]
just kidding. haha. [thank god i have enough stamps at home to take care of this in private and do not have to take my giant taped envelope addressed to GEORGE CLOONEY to the post office for weighing/stamps because i think i might die of embarrassment to see the looks i get from the PO employees as i wander in, clad in my sweater/robe/yoga pants/clogs outfit with what is clearly stalker mail, lol.]
AHEM. the envelope contains a polite card to señor clooney and a pre-addressed (also old, A4 ...) envelope ...
to my grandmother in florida.
my grandma has had a SERIOUS crush on george for a long time now. she dreams about him on a pretty regular basis (or so i assume, because every time i visit she tells me about yet another "george clooney dream"), which is of course, wonderful, dear, and absolutely hilarious to me. she has lived alone in an upscale senior apartment in florida for the last decade since my grandpa died, and ever since i first heard about these clooney dreams, years ago, i took to calling her body pillow "george." sometimes the dreams are pretty normal, like she and george (the man, not the pillow) are just making dinner at her place or something, but sometimes they're doing something more fun -- on a cruise together! (also pretty normal for my grandma, really -- or at least, it used to be. she used to "cruise" once or twice a year ... now she's less mobile and stays in more).
grandma jo's going to be 90 in june. i love her so much. i need to call her more often. i hear from my dad she's been pretty down lately. what i'm hoping is that george will find the time to address an autographed picture to her or something, and it will brighten her day. cross your fingers celebrities still do this kind of thing ...
here's a pic of us from my thanksgiving trip to visit her in 2006. [why am i sitting on her tiny lap?? i'm probably crushing her poor legs (she's shrunk to like, 4'10" now) and she's only smiling because she's thinking of george and how any minute now my fat ass will get off of her.]:
GEORGE CLOONEY.
no shit! LMAO!
[i guess i never mentioned my GINORMOUS crush on this man, did i??? damn you sarah larson!!]
just kidding. haha. [thank god i have enough stamps at home to take care of this in private and do not have to take my giant taped envelope addressed to GEORGE CLOONEY to the post office for weighing/stamps because i think i might die of embarrassment to see the looks i get from the PO employees as i wander in, clad in my sweater/robe/yoga pants/clogs outfit with what is clearly stalker mail, lol.]
AHEM. the envelope contains a polite card to señor clooney and a pre-addressed (also old, A4 ...) envelope ...
to my grandmother in florida.
my grandma has had a SERIOUS crush on george for a long time now. she dreams about him on a pretty regular basis (or so i assume, because every time i visit she tells me about yet another "george clooney dream"), which is of course, wonderful, dear, and absolutely hilarious to me. she has lived alone in an upscale senior apartment in florida for the last decade since my grandpa died, and ever since i first heard about these clooney dreams, years ago, i took to calling her body pillow "george." sometimes the dreams are pretty normal, like she and george (the man, not the pillow) are just making dinner at her place or something, but sometimes they're doing something more fun -- on a cruise together! (also pretty normal for my grandma, really -- or at least, it used to be. she used to "cruise" once or twice a year ... now she's less mobile and stays in more).
grandma jo's going to be 90 in june. i love her so much. i need to call her more often. i hear from my dad she's been pretty down lately. what i'm hoping is that george will find the time to address an autographed picture to her or something, and it will brighten her day. cross your fingers celebrities still do this kind of thing ...
here's a pic of us from my thanksgiving trip to visit her in 2006. [why am i sitting on her tiny lap?? i'm probably crushing her poor legs (she's shrunk to like, 4'10" now) and she's only smiling because she's thinking of george and how any minute now my fat ass will get off of her.]:
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
unrelated gripe ...
from GIANT NIGHTMARE WAR IN IRAQ to whining about college students ... quite the perspective shift, huh? one. thing. at. a. time.
in the span of the last hour (no shit) i received TWO student emails saying "reply ASAP." now, i know i've complained before about how the advent of email (perhaps coupled with today's overly narcissistic youth, depending on who you ask) has wrought a generation of college students who expect they can miss class and then just casually ask you "what did we do in class?"
BUT "reply ASAP"???? who tells a teacher to do this??
are you kidding me, lol? [i am, actually, Laughing Out Loud, at this very moment.] it's too absurd.
what's even more absurd is that I DID REPLY. instead of just ignoring their stupid emails. because i felt bad for them. even though they were rude and so on. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ENABLING THIS KIND OF THING???
i might have to address this in class. except i don't want to embarrass these two (seriously) very sweet young ladies, who apparently just have no idea that "reply ASAP" is impolite and crazy.
advice, my four dear readers?
in the span of the last hour (no shit) i received TWO student emails saying "reply ASAP." now, i know i've complained before about how the advent of email (perhaps coupled with today's overly narcissistic youth, depending on who you ask) has wrought a generation of college students who expect they can miss class and then just casually ask you "what did we do in class?"
BUT "reply ASAP"???? who tells a teacher to do this??
are you kidding me, lol? [i am, actually, Laughing Out Loud, at this very moment.] it's too absurd.
what's even more absurd is that I DID REPLY. instead of just ignoring their stupid emails. because i felt bad for them. even though they were rude and so on. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ENABLING THIS KIND OF THING???
i might have to address this in class. except i don't want to embarrass these two (seriously) very sweet young ladies, who apparently just have no idea that "reply ASAP" is impolite and crazy.
advice, my four dear readers?
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