another sad day for the GOP, sigh.

maybe it's time for republicans to re-think their anti-gay policy, no? stop carrying on with the stupid BS that being gay is a choice, and marriage can only be between a man and a woman, and god doesn't support gay-ness. etc. ad nauseum. BECAUSE CLEARLY REPUBLICANS WHO TRY TO PRETEND THEY'RE NOT GAY CAN ONLY LAST FOR SO LONG.

here's the new face of hypocrisy, one of many in a sad, upsetting line:

he's two-term WA-state rep. richard curtis. twice he voted down legislation supporting gay rights.

before him just recently were republicans larry craig (ID) and mark foley (FL). then there was ted haggard last spring (ok, not a politician, but a prominent evangelist minister. worse).

there have been others as well. how many republicans will be forced "out" of their pathetic hypocritical closets before some GOP genius says, "huh. maybe we've got this all wrong about homosexuality"?

just the "scandalousness" of these public outings pisses me off, but any relish for these situations (we dems do love to see them roll in it) is quickly followed by sadness. check this post out at the daily kos. it says better than i can here why all the lying and hypocrisy is nothing more than a great tragedy (here's a sample):

Let's face it: the reason why we, as Democrats and progressives, reap political benefits from the gay Republican tragedy has nothing to do with our own actions.

We're not out there stirring up anti-gay rhetoric. We don't hate gays.

They do.

They think the scandal is that Larry Craig is gay, or bisexual, or whatever he is.

That's bullshit.

The scandal is that they hate gays. The scandal is that not just that they think being gay is an option, but that they think it is a repugnant option. The scandal is that they pretend that homosexuals don't exist, when clearly they do.

good-bye, muffin top. [sniff.]

for those of you who don't know, this is a muffin. a muffin with a nice tasty "top" (see how happily it spills over the muffin-wrapper-thingy):















and this is a "muffin top" (i'll let you make the connection yourself):


















i'm sitting here, comfortably typing at the computer, in some pink pants that for the better part of last year, I COULD NOT EVEN BUTTON. and now, not only do they close (un-painfully no less), there's no muffin top. same goes for two pairs of jeans ... only a few more jeans to go ...

[why is it "pair" of jeans? i realize that jeans have a "pair" of legs, but when i say "i got two pairs of jeans last month" (i did not, in fact, buy this many jeans last month), why doesn't that mean i GOT FOUR jeans??]

institute without boundaries

in an effort to put something meaningful up on the blog, here's a very cool program a friend of mine is working on up north in toronto. it's called the Institute Without Boundaries and is actually doing what my favorite KV quote (up there in the header) talks about: creating stable communities.

i'm not sure if these stable, green communities help alleviate loneliness, but they're a step in the right direction. the concept of creating utopian communities has fascinated me for as long as i can remember, and it's neat a thoughtful program is trying to strike a balance between crazy-utopia (the farm, pennsylvania) and viable-world-changing-utopia (the farm, pennsylvania).

[i wish there was still a quaker utopia ... sort of. i would have to go visit my family there then, and people would silently judge me for eating meat and shopping at wal-mart. or for shopping at all. this is an intelligent post about the dangers of utopias ...]

point taken ...?

"Frankly, I simply don’t get the whole idea of blogs. They strike me as a bit narcissistic and something to do for people who have time on their hands such as the young and the elderly. Sorta’ like playing Solitaire… yes it fills the time, but it’s not particularly meaningful, just a lot of opinions and words. Why not create your own website where you publish your poetry and short story writing? I really enjoyed the website that you and Lauren created – it showed a comedic as well as deep side of who you are.

My real concern, as your ______ who cares about you and your name/reputation, is that a fantastic job prospect will arise in the future and it will be nixed when they Goggle [sic] your name and come up with … what?"

i think this close-relative-of-mine-i'm-not-identifying-here has a point. she/he also sent me a few other emails last night that concerned a) a misspelling on my academic department's faculty page for me, and b) the very real concern that since there are currently two other people with MY EXACT SAME first and last name, i should really start using my middle initial. (so when i'm "googled" people don't confuse me with this woman who writes camera handbooks with her husband, verne).

so. now i'm sitting here, thinking about this. again.

what am i doing with this blog? with my life? [why DON'T I USE MY MIDDLE INITIAL? ]

why don't i do creative writing anymore? (aside from the fact that most of my short stories from my undergraduate workshops dealt with freakish disasters of the mutilating sort ... my favorite of these was a "short-short" of pure dialogue that concerned a chicken processing plant accident where one of the employees had his arms ripped off at the shoulders. another involved an aspiring male model who broke off his two front teeth diving into a nearly-empty swimming pool while drunk. yet another concerned a young woman whose parents BOTH DIED AT THE EXACT SAME MINUTE, albeit across town from each other).

yes, i didn't really "get" irony. i still don't, apparently.

but i'm beginning to suspect it's genetic.

one piece (giant stick not included)

"you're a walking turn-on."

walking ... with your giant walking stick/piece of lumber? is this fun new "Big Zip" for walkers or ... those dudes from the highland games that have to toss a log? (yes, thank you, i "get it" with the stick. i'm trying to ignore "it," ahem).

honestly, why aren't more men wearing these one-pieces today? i recall when a brother of mine went through a phase in high school where he wore blue mechanic coveralls, but why isn't the "Big Zip" making a comeback yet? (click on image to enlarge and read the full description).

it's figure-flattering AND it's a shirt and pants IN ONE. (think of how stress-free getting dressed can be, without having to worry about whether that shirt matches these jeans!) all you have to worry about is whether your chest hair is going to get stuck in the zipper or not. (this outfit screams Chest Hair Fluffy and ON DISPLAY, does it not?)

and because it's 50-50 poly/cotton, i'm sure there's very little ironing. might suck a bit when you have to go to the bathroom. in the winter.

well, i know what i'm getting my the men life for christmas now. that was easy.

(also comes in "rust," and a short-sleeved version in "natural" and "camel" [cough.]).

thanks, again, josh.

favorite song of the moment

(thanks, dave).

the song is "hesitating beauty," and was originally written by woody guthrie. I DELETED THE CODE THAT MADE THE SONG AUTOMATICALLY START PLAYING. that was getting annoying. but it's still a beautiful song, and you can click here to listen to the whole thing, in case you weren't getting sick of it yet. :)

my (unborn) children's eyes ...

uhm, i have this amazing eye color calculator link bookmarked.

yes, because i'm insane. i don't even have a boyfriend, let alone a husband/man-who-will-give-me-babies. (although i did spend friday afternoon looking at sperm banks online. and then i spent saturday morning crying my eyes out and wondering if i haven't, perhaps, done something horribly wrong with my life ... more on this another day).

but that doesn't mean i'm not obsessed with my unborn children. (and other people's). i'm a baby name freak, as my friends can attest. [go here to have fun looking up your name, your siblings' names, your baby names, your friends' baby names ... unsurprisingly, considering its prevalence amongst the beehived ladies of the far side fame, "sylvia" was at its popularity zenith in 1937, where it was ranked #50. now it is #524, slightly more popular in 2006 than 2005, damn.]

i love the eye color calculator because of the little colored-eyes you get to flip through. it's fun for me to do this with, oh, say, i don't know ... my ex-boyfriends, potential mates, etc.

(maybe by now you've been to the calculator and you're wondering, "what sort of crazy person knows THE GD EYE COLORS OF ALL HER OLD AND 'POTENTIAL' BOYFRIENDS' PARENTS?" uh, maybe you don't know me very well if you're saying this. and maybe there's something wrong with YOU if you don't also know the eye colors of your very-serious-ex-or-current-significant-
other's-parents, have you considered that??)

potential hero?

this is booker, the first dog. got him from the shelter with the old BF last march. he is one of those "great dogs," which is to say he is funny, sweet, well-trained, and loves everyone (other people, other dogs). he's mostly jack russell (or parson russell?), but since he's ridiculously tall for a terrier, he has to have something else in him (hard to tell from this pic, i know).

anyway, i saw this video on cnn today, and it reminded me of this news story from last spring, and between these two stories, i'm convinced booker would now save me from both a kidnapper AND marauding pit bulls. i feel so safe! and so lucky. i'm grateful for booker.

[i let him sleep with his head on the pillow.]

will do a post on the OTHER DOG a different day. i think lulu (my shelter beagle) would save me from ... an ant. no, she would get scared and throw me in front of the ant to save herself. but when lulu is relaxed she's incredibly snuggly and sweet.

student gems!

i'm hoping "student gems" can be a semi-regular posting occurrence. (i teach communication at a decently-ranked state school in the south, in case you're wondering). these two nuggets came from an assignment that was to write a 2-4-page analysis on one of the "Top 100" american speeches from american rhetoric.

“Although most of Gehrig's language used is the same as we use today, some words like groundskeepers and squabble [sic] are no longer used.”

and, from another student:

“WWII definitely changed everything for people with events like the holocaust and all the death in general.”

from my friend josh:

the most awesome potty. ever.

think of the damage you can do to your kids by strapping them to a fucking toilet. (freud couldn’t have come up with better negative reinforcement). amazing. WAY better than spanking. they should put in the brochure “turn out bathroom light to really speed up urination/defecation process!”

ok, i thought of something i'm grateful for lately:

no appetite.

yes, you heard me.

it is october 2007. from may 2006-august 2007 i gained over 15 lbs.

there were many reasons for this:
1. i studied briefly in switzerland, traveled a bit in france. cheese. croissants. lots of beer ...
2. a boyfriend moved in for a year. (we ate regular-ish meals, fast food, etc ... this is a lame excuse, but i really felt bad if we didn't have a sit-down [usually with a biscuit or two] dinner).
3. i worked for a year in an urban office, instead of being a grad student hiking all over campus (= stressing out, smoking cigarettes all the time ...).
4. i quit smoking from jan-july 2007. (but seriously, i was already 10 lbs heavier when this happened).

then two months ago, the boyfriend moved out (yep, a break-up), i started smoking again with a vengeance, and i also stopped working out. i lost a few pounds. ("Smoke Yourself Thin")!

here's the deal: i like food. i like candy, a lot. cheese, chocolate, nuts, burgers, ikeeptacobellinbusiness, mayonnaise is my friend, and so on.

so when i'm stressed or busy, i FIND TIME to eat. i hate those people who are all, "oh, i was so stressed out i lost five pounds." blah blah blah ... i've always taken refuge in food when i'm upset. or wildly happy. or depressed. or trying to lose weight. whatever. food = yay!

not so much the last few days.

the pounds are falling off. because i'm never hungry. i don't understand.

but i'm thankful. because it probably won't last.

things to be thankful for?

i somehow found a blog post where a midwestern-lutheran-
mother-of-two said she needed to stop moping about her sick kids and car problems, and focus on what she was thankful for. in addition to "fall" and "two wonderful children," this bulleted list included bagels and cream cheese, electricity, miami dolphins football, and mysterys [sic].

[cough] ahem. [puke a little in my mouth]

(the amish have NOTHING to be grateful for, clearly).

in tenth grade i had one short semester of russian language, before i transferred to a new high school that didn't offer it (oh well, sasha was gone, defecting to canada or something. sigh). anyhoo, i remember having to do some kind of report on aleksandr solzhenitsyn, a russian writer famous for novels centered around his experiences in a soviet gulag. later, in a book of blessings my parents have, i found this quote from him, which sums up how i'm trying to keep my dissatisfaction with life right now in goddamn perspective (i'm all about swearing lately -- it might pass):

It was only when I lay there on the rotting prison straw that I sensed within myself the first stirrings of good. Gradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not between states nor between social classes nor between political parties, but right through every human heart, through all human hearts. And that is why I turn back to the years of my imprisonment and say, sometimes to the astonishment of those about me, bless you, prison, for having been a part of my life.

holy christ. is this what my life has come to?

brandy: salutations, beauregard!

beauregard: fuck off, brandy.

brandy: aren't you happy to be alive? you can tell i'm happy because i'm smiling ALL THE TIME.

beauregard: help me. someone. for the love of god, let me go back to my pen with my hay and carrots, my Jeopardy! ... i'm-five-seconds-away-from-kicking-an-infant, people.

brandy: salutations, beauregard!

beauregard: i wonder if a full bottle of tylenol would do it for me. i weigh a lot.

(i only wish i had made up these names, but those are their real names according to the yahoo photo. the link is dead now, sorry).