Sunday, March 30, 2008

BODY OF WAR

WATCH THIS PREVIEW (below). phil donahue and ellen spiro teamed up to co-direct the documentary, body of war about one young iraq war veteran's story, from his initial enlistment after 9/11/01 to fight the terrorists in afghanistan, to his paralyzing injury in iraq five days after he got there, to his decision to speak up and out against this unjust and immoral war since his recovery (which is ongoing) after he got home.

thomas young's story is unique and startling, but it's also demonstrably inclusive -- he has a younger brother who's currently doing his third tour right now, and he's a third generation army veteran. his family is split in their attitude toward the war, yet they manage like we all do: loving each other and supporting each others' opinions and experiences. (i learned a lot more about this movie by watching this bill moyers interview with donahue and spiro; it's long but engrossing and highly valuable to see).

body of war


P.S.! eddie vedder composed original music for the documentary and thomas even worked on a cool compilation CD of songs that include some of vedder's (as well as many others) to raise money for Iraq Veterans Against the War. [i just bought the CD, mostly for the beautiful vedder songs ... i'll let you know -- also includes ben harper, bad religion, RATM, bright eyes, and kimya dawson, among others]

if you'd like to know of a peace vigil near you, or even a war protest you can take part in, try this website first: American Friends Service Committee's wage peace calendar (quakers rock, btw). i just (very conveniently) emailed a woman nearby about an upcoming event, and [cough!] mentioned something about organizing one in clemson ...

WHY AREN'T YOU ANGRY ABOUT THIS WAR? WHY DON'T YOU MIND IT? (i can't explain why for the last few weeks it has been CONSUMING me. i think and think about it and cry and get upset and get angry and cry and maybe there's something else going on) BUT DAMNIT! over 4,000 soldiers dead, over 29,000 wounded and OVER 89,000 (the very conservative estimate -- some put it at over 1,000,000) IRAQI CIVILIANS KILLED.

HOW CAN WE SIT STILL ANY LONGER? HOW CAN WE? HOW?

i don't know. i don't know why it took this long for me to FEEL IT.








Thursday, March 27, 2008

that time of the semester again ...

GOOD LORD. there are not enough hours in the day. it's like i finish a big chunk of grading and then HOLY CRAP I TEACH FOR A WEEK or two and then they turn in more stuff or do more presentations and i can see how it's going to be this neverending spiral of grading and more grading until the semester ends in five weeks. five weeks! how can that be???

so i apologize for not posting. i would like to post. i would. but right now i'm scrambling. in fact, i shouldn't even be posting right now. i need to grade. and design this curriculum stuff i've had three weeks to do but let sit and the deadline is [cough] tomorrow.

(i've got to run. the beagle is back. maybe. she slipped out of my fingers this morning when i was letting the dogs out at [cough. again.] 5 a.m. and i hear her outside in the dead kudzu, rustling. she's a shifty one, lulu. damn her. it's some kind of trap. the dead kudzu is also filled with her own fecal matter. she knows i won't chase her there ...)

it was a ruse. lulu was just toying with me. by the time i got out there to shake the cat food bowl (like a dog whistle of sorts), she had disappeared into the woods again. damnit lulu! i don't have time for this today! (meanwhile, one of the cats came running right up to me. the unfriendly one. i was all, "uh, hi pekka. my, you're being friendly. i'm confused. now go away. oh, ok, here's some of your own food. now please go away. lulu? lulu? LULU????")

Saturday, March 22, 2008

um, yes, it's the economy's fault i'm moving home for the summer at the age of 30 ...

but at least i'm not doing it at 52, like the woman in this AP-yahoo article. good lord. but it may as well be. 30, 52 -- what's the difference, really?

the article is saying that our struggling economy is to blame for the lack of jobs, money, etc., and that's why so many people (e.g., ME) are moving BACK HOME AFTER THEY SPECIFICALLY MADE A PACT WITH A FRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL (senior year, to be exact) THAT WE HAD THE RIGHT TO SHOOT EACH OTHER IN THE HEAD IF EITHER OF US WAS LIVING AT HOME PAST THE AGE OF 25. (well. i just hope i don't run into this friend while i'm living with my parents this summer. and waitressing full-time. and i hope she still doesn't support the NRA).

but honestly AP-yahoo writer: it's MY FAULT i'm moving home, not the economy's. most people have done smarter things with their money by now. i have NOT. most people can afford to be unemployed for a summer. NOT ME. the other people living with their parents? like me, they're also weird losers who have made poor financial decisions and are perhaps a little too close (emotionally, financially) to their families. (i, on the other hand, have separated myself geographically from my family for YEARS, because THEY LIVE IN THE TUNDRA, duh).

i honestly can't wait to get home for the summer! mostly because i can't wait to see all my mothers and sisters and brothers and dads and cousins and friends again. i love being around their energy so much.

so. i am slowly getting over the stigma of being 30 and living at home for the summer ... slowly. i don't know if that's good or not. but i have to get over it anyway.

THAT'S THE THING: there's a lot to just GET OVER, ANYWAY. get over it, me! (it's like i have to remind myself 500 times a week: "who cares what people think? who cares what you were supposed to have done? be happy for now. work to change what you can change.")

[sigh.] i'm trying.

Friday, March 21, 2008

speaking of peace:

yep. [insert incredibly proud smile here.] i just got emailed this picture today, coincidentally.

that's my sister, lydia, somewhat hidden on the left of the yellow "SAY NO TO WAR IN IRAQ" sign, my mama lauri on the right of the sign with her fist raised (or is she waving? hard to tell in winter gear), and my dad, tim, in front of the yellow sign with a (don't ask, please) leather fedora-style hat he likes and his own white peace sign flag.

my dad protests the war every single saturday of the year: rain, snow, sleet ... -20F ... whatever. my sisters (julia's not pictured here) usually go with him when they're home. i'm embarrassed to admit (gulp- as i did here in this january post) that i haven't been to protest with him once on a trip back to MN. mom goes when she feels like it (e.g., when she's not sleeping or painting).

i believe in peace; i just don't work for it. (sickening, isn't it?) i will try to be a good peace protester when i go home to live this summer. but it's easy to protest when it's sunny and warm outside ... and so my dad will know i'm a fake, not as committed to peace as i should be (well, i'm sure he already knows this, frankly). i see now that suicide is my only option when the rest of your family is so wonderful. and i don't mean this snidely (for once i'm not being sarcastic): they are the best people around. oh! i love them all so much! such big hearts.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

almost too late with this one ...

thursday is drawing to a close. (more about my mansion retreat another day). today is the first day of spring! and more importantly:

today is the 50th anniversary of one of my favorite symbols!

common dreams is a wonderful (molto progressive) news website, and their article on the peace sign's creation and evolution here, is a fascinating one.

you might not have known that:

^ the peace sign was created not as an upside-down broken cross (as many insist), but instead was created by juxtaposing the semaphore (flag-signaling) letters for N and D -- for Nuclear Disarmament, which is why it was created in england in the first place (the circle around them was for the earth).

^ the south african government tried to ban its use by apartheid opponents in 1973.

^ the peace sign briefly appeared on lucky strike cigarette packs (why?? someone show me one. i'll switch brands if lucky strike is a peace-loving tobacco company. and no, that doesn't HAVE TO BE a contradiction in terms).

northern sun is an awesome liberal (i hate to use the word "progressive" twice in one post) minneapolis store/catalog business that also has a website with loads of neat stuff for peaceniks and rebels, hippies and ... (well, i was going to say "hipsters," but that's not really true. most of their stuff is for hippies). bless them. so go take a look if you suddenly feel compelled to buy a peace flag or sticker or t-shirt or onesie or coffee mug or poster ...

HERE'S TO A SPRING AND SUMMER OF PEACE! FIVE YEARS IN IRAQ IS FIVE YEARS TOO LONG! bring the troops home now! enough is enough!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

au revoir mes amies!

this is Le Beach Mansion (location undisclosed and photo slightly blurry for security reasons, DUH), circa november 2007. it's where i'll be for the next SIX DAYS. my emailing will be sporadic at best, and i doubt i'll be blogging at all. [the girl in the photo is a friend i miss and have been meaning to call (poker shark extraordinaire AND gorgeous attorney, jessica).]

you can't tell from this photo, but if jessica turned and looked at the camera, she'd also be looking straight at the atlantic ocean, just down a private boardwalk from the house, past the yard ... (the infinity pool is so cleverly built in to the deck it's almost impossible to find in this photo. almost. did i mention it has a hot tub built-in to it, too?)














the entire top row of windows is a huge beautiful suite we affectionately call the "crow's nest," and it's where i'll be sleeping because i'm the early riser of the group. notice i have my own private balcony facing the sea, bitches! i mean: mes amies - my sweet friends who can't join me this time.

so if you have my number, feel free to call me, but don't be surprised if i sound a little ... uhm, giddy in the early afternoon. or the morning for that matter. (i'm not a lush, seriously. i like to joke about going on vacation and getting drunk in the morning and then i do it once and am hungover by 2 p.m. and am totally sorry i tried that). OK, so don't be surprised if all i sound is incredibly HAPPY AND CONTENT AND TAN AND YOU HEAR WAVES IN THE BACKGROUND, perhaps a beagle snoring ...

[this feast of pleasure is owed directly to my dearest friends g & j, and their loving generosity. (as well as that of j's sister - ahem!) g & j could've decided to spend their spring break completely sequestered at this beach paradise, and instead they chose to invite their friends for the duration. they're letting me bring my goddamn dogs, even. bless them. words aren't enough, here, to express my gratitude ... i'm going to have get creative here since they don't need money or sexual favors and they have wildly varying food palates ... hmm ...]

oh christ this is sad

a tragic example of when love crosses the line and becomes "enabling":

"Phobia causes woman's 2-year bathroom stay" from cnn. her boyfriend brought her food and water and everything there, literally ON THE TOILET. her skin grew around the seat. oh, my god that's sad. wow. wow. wow. (and apparently they had "normal conversations" whatever in god's name these could be. "so, your day was ... pretty much the same? like yesterday's? oh really? a fly got in? that's cool! no? it's not?? damn. i'm sorry. yeah, i'll get you some more TP soon, i promise honey.")

i might go cry now. my life could be much, much worse. check out their house ...

more hugs!

i did a post in january about how i showed this DMB hug video to my classes, and i forgot one of my students showed me this other cool "free hugs campaign" video later. it's awesome! (see below). i'm not head-over-heels for the song, but it's still an awesome little youtube video to make you happy.

so, since it's looking like i might not have a job in the fall and i'm back to not knowing what i'm doing with my life (but i'm strangely not worried about this. i probably should be), i'm already thinking i might sell everything i own and travel the world giving out free hugs. of course, i haven't worked out the logistics of food (and uh, the "travel" part) per se, but maybe there's a grant for this somewhere ...

enjoy! who doesn't need more hugs?

"free hugs campaign" - song by sick puppies

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

checked out

last friday night during the post-eggers bar gathering (a completely overwhelming, pretentious and hysterical group of primarily english faculty, english grad students, with the occasional theater-history-me person thrown in for good measure), a colleague from another department started complaining that her students had totally "checked out" for spring break (THIS STARTS IN THREE DAYS NOW, BTW).

she went on to say that it's ridiculous because we still had so many days left (well, she was talking about last week, and yes, there's this week, too ... but does this week even count? the week of classes before spring break IS ROUGH) and the students should be more focused and what's wrong with them, blah blah ... i could barely focus myself on what she was saying.

BECAUSE ONCE SHE SAID THE WORDS "SPRING BREAK" I, TOO, CHECKED OUT.

i just nodded at her words sympathetically. like i could see where she was coming from. even though now i was just staring at her mouth move, bless her (it was a very neat mouth, to be honest: big lips and teeth). i was miles away already ... on the beach, on the beach mansion's (where i'll be, thanks to my dear friends) ginormous deck-with-infinity-pool facing the ocean, drinking mimosas and coffee for breakfast, then a little fresh fruit ... i'll live in my swimsuit during the daylight hours, not caring about make-up, getting sunburned and taking my dogs for long beach walks ... oh, I COULD GO ON. I COULD. JESUS. BUT I'LL STOP TO SPARE THE REST OF YOU THE AGONY.

but to be honest, my students have seemed pretty "checked in" last week and this week so far. i'm impressed overall. and also: i've had important stuff to cover in our course this week, and they're all engaged and present in the classroom. even me (uh, because i'm teaching it and have to be? no ... because it's important. sigh).

ahhh ... and once i start thinking about spring break during class, fuck, it's all i can do to stay checked in and focused. i think in this instance i sympathize more with the students than the teachers. i don't know. maybe that colleague has weird students. i love mine more every week ... they have seemed a little more excitable than usual in class, but this is generally good. and they listen when they need to.

[but who knows? maybe their eyeballs look to be paying attention, and their questions reflect they've been listening, when REALLY THEY'RE JUST COUNTING THE SECONDS IN THEIR HEADS LIKE FREAKY LITTLE AUTISTIC CARD COUNTERS until class is over. one more class down, only a couple more to go ... not that i'm counting or anything, jesus ...]

Sunday, March 9, 2008

me in 30 years?

"70 cats seized from unsanitary home":
Officers said the cats were well fed, but the home was filled with feces and garbage and was unsuitable for not only cats, but also humans.

you hear about houses like this from time to time, either in england or here in the states. fortunately, i also HAVE TWO DOGS. so this can't possibly be me in 30 years:




(yep. that's the recurring character "crazy cat lady" from the simpsons. she has a degree from yale. she throws her cats at people who come on her property ... since we've already established i have two dogs in addition to my two cats AND WE KNOW WELL AND GOOD I WENT TO A STATE SCHOOL AND NOT YALE, this will certainly NOT BE ME in 30 years, right? RIGHT??!?).

Saturday, March 8, 2008

dave eggers = awesomebrilliantfunny [long!]

last night was the culminating event in my university's first ever literary festival, and this was a scheduled (FREE) reading/talk given by none other than one of my favorite authors and people in the world, dave eggers.

i first unwittingly ran across dave's work when i was a freshman in college because a cool lecturer of mine lent me all these old copies of this magazine he loved, called "might." i thought might was terribly clever. but at 18 i wasn't very clever and was blown away by the wittiness on display and felt overwhelmed by this ... i didn't know what to make of this genius stuff. then i had other work to do.

years later when i read dave's pulitzer prize-nominated memoir a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, i fell in love with dave, this time for real. er, well, as much as a devoted fan might. i fell in love with his voice, his earnest desire to share his stories and improve the lives of others. and he has this phenomenal sense of humor, christ. [maybe part of my love, too, was that i could see the potential father in him, in how he took care of his brother -- i'm sure young women reading that book fucking SWOONED.] i started reading mcsweeney's online around then (which, as some of you know, i still visit regularly and adore. i post links here from time to time to the ones i find particularly hilarious), too ... i keep hoping the muse will strike me and i'll write something horribly funny and cool and submit it and it will go online there, but so far this hasn't happened yet.

i'll skip ahead now ...

i heard dave was coming to read/speak here, and i LOVED LOVED LOVED his latest novel "what is the what: an autobiography of valentino achak deng" (about the life of one of sudan's "lost boys," from this boy's time both trekking across sudan as a child to the years he spent at refugee camps, to his eventual settlement in the U.S.) when i read it last december, so i HAD to figure out a way to to not only require my 150 students to attend the reading, but to also incorporate the novel in my classes. (click here for the NYT review of the book that encapsulates better than i can on why the book is so profoundly moving).

but the deal is this: i don't teach english anymore. i teach six labs (once-a-week, 2-hr section each) for an intro to human communications course. basically the labs are public speaking (we're working on new curriculum at the moment ... too bad i won't be here to see it go into effect) classes. how to make dave eggers and what is the what part of my public-speaking-human-communication lab???

well, the first part was done for me, incidentally. sort of. the course actually requires students do an "outside speaker critique" and write a paper on a speaker. this is kind of a dumb assignment since we do something better and smarter earlier on in the semester. sooooooo ... what WE did, in my sections, was read excerpts from the book (the preface, a middle part [very dramatic!], and the last chapter out loud in class. this was WAY more fun than it sounds, honestly. because it gave students the opportunity to practice (duh, really) oral skills (completely undervalued in my opinion, i'm not kidding at all), and it fed into our later discussion.

our discussion! these were UNBELIEVABLE in some sections, so-so in others ... the topics and questions we went over were my attempts to relate what is the what to public-speaking-human-communication. we started off with storytelling, what this is (after introductions in my classes, students do a "story speech"), what purpose it serves, why it exists and continues to exist. then we ventured into the "call to speak," and "speaking up/speaking out," and why some people (like valentino achak deng) felt compelled to speak up. we talked about what they, as students, felt compelled to speak up about (not much, sadly ... but there were some beautiful moments. a few religious martyrs and one young feminist i adored who said she would go to jail if that meant teenage girls in SC could get access to birth control! LOVE her.)

and then! seeing all my glorious students at the reading last night! i wanted to hug and kiss them all. (of course, they were required to be there, lol. but they seemed happy and every instance i was so tickled to see them outside the classroom ... it seemed kind of ... like they were, too ...).

but the best part is this: dave eggers' talk last night was perfect. he was smart. he was funny and self-deprecating. he spoke of sudan and what is the what and read from this briefly. but then to my great good fortune, he also spoke very passionately and eloquently about why he started all these writing centers around the U.S. to help young people (kids, really) improve their literacy. my students (ME, TOO, christ) learned some wonderful things and had plenty to write about on their handouts i gave them to take with them for the reading/talk. as i spoke with a few students when we were all filtering out of the big theater, they were animated and engaged -- possibly (hopefully!) even inspired to make the world a better place. i certainly was.

big HAPPY sigh. contented lecturer smile. :) i should stop here ...

[starstruck moment: the line for book signings after the reading was so long that my friends and i decided to bail and head straight to bar/restaurant where we knew dave was to show up later. i was sad to not get my book signed, but also RAVENOUS. (well, that's no contest, is it? i wonder if it would've taken kurt vonnegut risen from the dead signing books for me to have waited in that long line ...) anyhoo, after we'd eaten and dave had shown up at the bar and also eaten, i sort of sneaked over to his table (sort of. flounced? i was on drink #2) ... fortunately a cool english creative writing prof saw me sidling up and told dave my name and mentioned i sent 150 students to the reading, yada yada. then i quickly thrust out my copy of what is the what and jabbered about everything i did here: what-all about my communications classes reading parts of the book and our discussions and how moving they were and how grateful i was to him for speaking tonight and thanking him, profusely, for his talk and the need to speak up and out, and storytelling, inspiring others, him inspiring my students ... to my great relief he was incredibly nice and funny and not pissed i interrupted him and we chatted for a brief moment about these topics while he signed my book (like he must sign all others): "To Sylvia! Thanks so much for spreading the WORD! Your true friend, Dave Eggers."]


now. i must get to work on a mcsweeny's piece. seriously.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Dear Texas,

i didn't expect my man obama to win in ohio last night because it was sort of a given hillary had the lock on that state and he really focused his energies on Y'ALL, on TEXAS, and so WTF, PEOPLE??? i went to bed last night with the results showing him comfortably leading her in the primary results and this morning i wake up, check cnn and have a minor stroke.

thanks for that, texas asshats (NOT my cousins! i love you!). i would like to make some snarky comment here about y'all's culpability in OUR NATION'S LAST EIGHT YEARS OF INCOMPETENT, DISASTROUS REIGN (your village of crawford has been sorely missing its token idiot, hasn't it?), but really i'm just pissy more of you didn't vote for change and hope and idealistic vision last night -- you voted for hillary. you voted for a brilliant woman who is part of the "old guard" in washington. she has lived in the white house for eight years already (yuck! i want a fresh body in there). she polarizes people and is not well known for working on both sides of the aisle.

so, texas, if it weren't for my lovely cousins living there, i would have some REALLY CHOICE words for Y'ALL today. as it is, i am saying in my best fatherly voice: I AM VERY, VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. YOU'VE REALLY LET YOUR MOTHER AND ME DOWN. I SORT OF WISH YOU WEREN'T BORN, TO BE HONEST. I'M GOING TO GO GET DRUNK ON THE BACK PORCH NOW, ALONE. GO TO HELL.

sincerely,
:) sylvia
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

PATHOS ALERT! the reds will eat your babies ...

both in my english classes of yore and in my speech/comm classes of today we talk about aristotle's definition of rhetoric (the art of persuasion, in a nutshell) and his three modes (or appeals to) of persuasion: ethos (an appeal based on the character of the speaker), logos (an appeal based on logic; generally sound reasoning; although today we consider facts/data to be "logos"), and finally: PATHOS (an appeal based on emotion, meant to sway the audience by tugging at their heartstrings or scaring the crap out of them).

well gentle readers, you're smart. you know what appeals SHOULD work best on human beings and what ULTIMATELY DOES work best on us humans. we like to think we've evolved. that we think and can reason and can use our brains. i like to think this on my good days. really i do. that we can do something noble, some things beautiful and intelligent with our lives: creating art and music, thinking rationally and practicing peace and tolerance, letting our lives overflow with laughter and love, humility and grace.

but mostly, sadly ... i think a lot of us (me, included) are sitting around here with our barely evolved reptilian brains, just eating and defecating, screwing and multiplying, sleeping and waking ... our lives a thinly veiled pretense for the the two most base, primal emotions we feel at any given time: fear and desire. "i am afraid of _____" and "i want _____."

ugh. and by now everyone has heard of or seen hillary's cold-war-republican-style campaign ad, "it's 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep ... the phone rings at the white house ..." PUKE ME A RIVER, hillary. i mean, FUCK, DID YOU STEAL A PAGE FROM THE BUSH/CHENEY/ROVE PLAYBOOK?

you make me ill, suddenly. i mean, shit, i'll campaign for you if you win the nomination ... if i have to, ok. but DAMMIT WOMAN. I HATE THE POLITICS OF FEAR! a pathos appeal, an appeal based on emotions ... these WORK, ok, they work, we know that. but catering to fear is the WORST possible pathos appeal. (in fact, it's how i used to remember in my first rhetoric class that pathos was the least formidable of the three appeals: because it was PATHETIC).

ok, whew. i'll calm down. there are about 20 or more hilarious (and some serious) parodies already up at youtube of this stupid fear-mongering ad. a lot of them involve ghostbusters ("who you gonna call?"), lol. i kind of like this one, below, mostly because i love it when guys do women's voices, mrah. reminds me of kids in the hall. (in fact, this link-clip from KITH here is so freaking hilarious, I INSIST YOU GO WATCH IT IMMEDIATELY TO HAVE A GREAT DAY).

3 a.m. white house ad spoof

Monday, March 3, 2008

everyone is smarter than me

but this isn't a new feeling. (judging from the 8th grade science quiz results -- look below at the comments for that post).

of course, when i was young i was convinced i was a genius, and it took me until college to realize i was horribly NOT-SMART. in graduate school this feeling of not-smartness was only compounded on a regular basis, but it was invigorating in a way i won't get into here. maybe i need to do some remedial science classes? get a science book?

well, genius friends and family, here's a totally unrelated NON-factual question i'm posing to you all then: TO HAVE AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF MYSELF AT THE BLOG OR NOT?

i ask you this because the pic i had been using was [cough!] six years old and was linked from my department's faculty page for me. and now that pic has mysteriously disappeared from that page. so ... i looked at some very ugly pics of myself here on my laptop last night (many old ones, sigh) ... and then naturally settled on the hilarious Brandy-Beauregard pic from my very first blog entry.

it doesn't matter to me to have an actual pic of myself up at all. except.

except when i go to other people's blogs ... i kind of like seeing a face. an actual real face to put with the writing, the musings, the nonsense, the reflections ... you know. it personalizes it in some way.

but is this vanity? i can't decide. i need your help, my dear four readers. to have a "real" pic of myself or not? i'm at your mercy. clearly, you're ALL MUCH SMARTER THAN ME. :)

Sunday, March 2, 2008

this is depressing (but not really a surprise):

i failed 8th grade science last night (see below).

and i was on the freaking SCIENCE TEAM for two years in junior high! we went to state and were in the top ten both years! granted, i wanted to be a doctor then, so my "events" were things like "A for Anatomy" and ... i think i was a lame duck participant on the quiz bowl panel ... (ok, so i was really carried by the nerdy guys on the team, whatever). but still. these quiz results are pathetic and embarrassing. every time i'd read a question i'd go, "oh, i know this!" and then i'd look at those multiple choice answers and think, "fuck, i guess i don't." i guess i don't.

JustSayHi - Science Quiz

Saturday, March 1, 2008

mmmmm ... a free weekend, at last ...

done.

and DONE. for now anyway, with the 150 student papers. i only lost two. (which makes no sense. i have folders. all the papers go in the requisite section folders, from which point they don't get shuffled, blown around, or rearranged, etc. yet two [very nice, honestly] students insist they turned in papers and now they are nowhere to be found. how is this possible?? and one student is saying her hard drive has since crashed and she might not have the original anymore ...?)

sort of DONE ... because i'm all about uh, "learning" or whatever you want to call it these days, i let my students rewrite their papers to get a higher grade. my only requirement is that they meet with me and so we can discuss their analysis and then they look over a couple "model" papers. i say over and over in my classes (because i really don't want to prepare them for the "real world"? what's wrong with me?), "you don't get a lot of second chances in life, but you do in my class. you can rewrite as many times as you need to, seriously." this just means that at the very end of the semester i will be grading MORE OF THE SAME PAPERS, AGAIN. [sigh.] but hopefully they will be a mite smarter.

[aside: i just don't understand how students are supposed to actually IMPROVE at critical thinking/writing if they're not forced to try it again and work through (with guidance) their stumbling blocks. usually students get a paper back, see their grade and sigh "i'm such a bad writer" or whatever, and then what happens?? nothing. exactly. paper goes in the trash. even though i'm not teaching english at the moment, critical analysis is still a key component, right? don't they ever have to write papers for other subjects?? please god, tell me they do ...]

THE POINT OF MY STUPID STORY IS that i'm finally free to enjoy a whole weekend!!!!

no labyrinthine job apps to write and complete, no papers to grade, no pressing curriculum to design (also last weekend, btw). the dogs decided to celebrate this momentous occasion by waking me up first at 5 a.m. today. then after much scratchy grumbling and profanities and yanking of collars ("booker and lulu you stupid fucks i love you but jesus christ get back on the goddamn bed" but in some kind of hoarse witchy voice best reserved for scaring children at halloween. also, i'm pretty sure i added the "i love you" here just to seem like less of a jerk), i managed to get them to let me sleep until 6:47 a.m., at which point i feared i would be mopping up dog urine if i didn't get up and let them outside.

today or this weekend, i will (perhaps not in this order):

  • enjoy going grocery shopping
  • delight in running errands
  • vacuum (maybe. i hate this. but the dog hair on the floor has started clumping and having small rallies. soon the clumps will start demanding rights and when i refuse them, they'll stage little rebellions while i'm sleeping, attaching themselves to my face and the backs of my shirts, burning my books, etc. i can't give them too much control, you see. it's a delicate power balance)
  • take neglected dogs for good long walk
  • put neglected dogs in their crate (let's be honest: it's a big cage) for a couple hours while i take a sweet nap (they don't "get" naps, i've learned the hard way. which makes no sense because they freaking nap all the damn time)
  • go see a play on campus with amigos
  • call my wonderful family back in minnesota
  • clean out rotten food from fridge (maybe. depends on if i feel like it)


i'm also going to be posting a few other things here and there ... got a lot of stuff jotted down i've been meaning to ... you know, make public for no reason whatsoever. the blurry dogs-in-motion pic is an old one from last summer. they WERE JUST PLAYING. seriously. they're funny like that. now lulu bites the shit out of booker.