Dear Texas,

i didn't expect my man obama to win in ohio last night because it was sort of a given hillary had the lock on that state and he really focused his energies on Y'ALL, on TEXAS, and so WTF, PEOPLE??? i went to bed last night with the results showing him comfortably leading her in the primary results and this morning i wake up, check cnn and have a minor stroke.

thanks for that, texas asshats (NOT my cousins! i love you!). i would like to make some snarky comment here about y'all's culpability in OUR NATION'S LAST EIGHT YEARS OF INCOMPETENT, DISASTROUS REIGN (your village of crawford has been sorely missing its token idiot, hasn't it?), but really i'm just pissy more of you didn't vote for change and hope and idealistic vision last night -- you voted for hillary. you voted for a brilliant woman who is part of the "old guard" in washington. she has lived in the white house for eight years already (yuck! i want a fresh body in there). she polarizes people and is not well known for working on both sides of the aisle.

so, texas, if it weren't for my lovely cousins living there, i would have some REALLY CHOICE words for Y'ALL today. as it is, i am saying in my best fatherly voice: I AM VERY, VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. YOU'VE REALLY LET YOUR MOTHER AND ME DOWN. I SORT OF WISH YOU WEREN'T BORN, TO BE HONEST. I'M GOING TO GO GET DRUNK ON THE BACK PORCH NOW, ALONE. GO TO HELL.

sincerely,
:) sylvia
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo!